you looked back finally but it feels spoiled now. tarnished debris I wanted to be. 
us. 
you turned around for a glimpse of me, that gaze of yours I always yearned for. 
you retreated at last, just a little. slowed your pace, maybe even froze completely in one place (so I hope).
you returned to me by way of the tiniest fragment.
a check in sans greeting, an ounce of your care.
you came back for me, all the while hedging it seems. 

I waited for you in the purgatory of my broken ventricles. 
sent you my vulnerable adorations. 
I held on to the hope of you returning for me.
desperate for signals of you with your love an additional perk. 
I grew seeds of sympathy, seeking anything I could get from you.

transactional love framed like a wall street deal.
gave my love as collateral expecting a return of you one day,
only to reckon there's no security in pledging yourself as security.

you looked back finally but it feels spoiled now.
like a plump vibrantly red strawberry that stayed a day too long, with a fresh coat of moldy frost setting in.
looking back is no longer enough.
a returned gaze insufficient.
I want to be seen directly, not as a response.
a tug in my chest as to whether I'd even answer.
a glance back from you was the desire for so long, it seems odd to look away from the eyes I've needed to catch all this time. 

you looked back finally but I looked down.
not returning your gaze.
instead I dart towards a mirror to gleam my reflection. 

you looked back finally and turned around for a glimpse of me.
and in that moment I saw myself. 

you looked back finally but I choose me.
even if it means seeing what's next on my own.